Squeaks is a tiny cutsie caterpillar. He was born in 1958, under a big old maple tree. Soon to be chased by ferocious ugly birds, Squeaks quickly had to learn the basics of escaping their cruel beaks’ attacks. Although he was not the fastest runner, he managed to find alternative ways to get out of their reach. To do so, he had to move a grand total eight times in his sole week of existence. The stress caused by those repetitive moves had him suffer from mild anxiety. However, Squeak’s mamma was an expert in meditation and taught him how to relax. To this day, whenever he feels stressed, he eats a bar of chocolate, meditates for 10 seconds and his spirit is instantly lifted. 

Little Squeaks loves his food, especially sweets, which explains why he is so plump and chubby. Squeaks loves his curves and is not afraid to show them off. Little Squeaks loves to laze around under his duvet covers, which certainly had something to do with his gaining weigh around the 10-day mark. 

Squeaks cheerful character helped a lot in tricky situations such as when Mimi and Danny, two ugly mean birdies chased him for what seemed like forever up a dusty chimney. If you ever want to know his secret to being so happy, even under stressful circumstances, it all lies in self development. Little Squeaks loves climbing up the top of whatever tree he is living under and listening to self help podcasts. While he is at it, he always has a slice of pizza, with chorizo and pineapple toppings, for they’re the best to him. And there you have it, the secret to happiness is self-love, a pretty view and a slice of pizza!

« I never look back, dahling. It distracts from the now« 

Ah, Edna! Dear old Edna…

Little Edna was born in 1957 to a German father and a Japanese mother. From very early on, the tiny brunette wore round thick-rimmed glasses and her jet black hair was cut into a short straight bob. Even then, she was abnormally short compared to others. Plus, she had an awfully thick German accent. All this combined made her excellent bully material. Both her parents were not the tender, affectionate kind so she was left on her own facing her bullies. She learned the hard way that you should trust no one but your own self. Alone, hurt and vulnerable, she grew up to become a cold, distant woman, at least on the surface.

As a teen though, she built herself up as a real warrior and paved her way into becoming a talented fashion designer. Her bob and glasses became a renown trademark. Rumour has it Anna Wintour sends her flowers every year for her birthday, in hopes of befriending her but Ednie never answered. 

Both at work and in private, Edna is very controlling, always in search for perfection. This discipline and ruthlessness of hers made her one of the best fashion designer of all times. But Edna’s real passion is designing superhero costumes for she only admires those who are (supposedly) infallibly strong. With hard work and passion, she turned costume designing into a fine art, mixing technology and design.

At 23, Edna met a précieuse named Bertille and fell madly for her. After having put up with a lot of Bertille cheating on her, flirting with older, « more interesting » men, Edna finally decided to let her go. She was left devastated. First love always ends in the hardest heartbreaks… Edna was never one to express her feelings, instead she bottled them up and retreated into sadness. It did not help either that Bertille moved on pretty quickly from their relationship. From then on, Edna chose to withdraw into a solitary, monastic lifestyle, removed from society and people in general. 

Later, the bitterness and sourness vanished and Edna adopted a truly epicurean lifestyle and way of thinking. She might appear conceited to some but it mostly due to her having a very forthright personality. Besides, her outrageous self confidence is a real source of criticism and envy. It is true that everything in her evokes success: from her characteristic walk to her bold looks, she is one strong, independent boss woman. Edna is a real winner at heart but above all, she is just a very sweet, kind-hearted person.

Georges Linus Albert de Hautecourt, aka Georges Hautecourt, was born in 1877 in the city of Salisbury. As his name clearly suggests, he comes from an ancient and noble family. At eighteen, according to his parents’ wish, he entered one of the top law schools in the country. Georgie, who was known for being an eccentric oddball, did surprisingly well and thoroughly enjoyed his experience there. He differed greatly from the stereotype of the rich preppy Hautecourt boy with tortoiseshell glasses and brillantine in their hair. In fact, he was quite the opposite: short, not at all athletic and a bit aloof, he was often thought to have been adopted.

Georges’s eccentricity was an issue to many and he was treated like an outcast for most of his life but never really cared. After he graduated, he settled in a cosy apartment in West London. He soon became a renowned lawyer, both for his incredible eloquence and ever-joyful character.

Contrary to the appearances, Georgie led a very frugal and simple existence. He was very low maintenance on/regarding most things in life. For instance, old Georgie was not very particular about his diet. Mademoiselle Suzanne, his cook, made him homemade purée and a slice of ham everyday for lunch. He only cared for his 4 o’clock pâtisserie. 

His only thing is that he is addicted to purchasing racing cars and developed a passion for top hats. He has quite an impressive collection of both which he cherishes greatly. At age 87, he decided it was high time to retire. He did so to devote all his time and energy to gardening and polishing his cars. 

Despite his old age and the boring aspect of his job, Georgie never took life too seriously. He loves to dance and hums about all day long. Doctor …, his family doctor, says that he has never seen anyone suffering from osteoarthritis have so much energy. Rumour has it, it is Georgie’s home-made English liquor that keeps him going…

Born under the bluest of skies in the middle of the Ocean, fairy Merryweather is one of the three good fairies of Princess Aurora. Short and plump, she is always dressed in blue. Her pretty name does not suit her character whatsoever. Pessimistic, grouchy and stubborn, she is one tough fairy. 

Merryweather heavily relies on magic to help her get through life. Indeed, she is pretty much incapable of performing even the simplest of tasks like sweeping the floor. Besides, she loathes household chores as she finds them both annoying and time-wasting. She has come to terms with the fact that she will never be a « good housekeeper » and is always happy to search for the easiest way out. Little Merryweather is definitely an early feminist, trying to make women comfortable with the idea that keeping their house clean and organized does not have to be their number one priority and that it is perfectly fine not to equate their self-worth with their abilities to be a good housewife. Preconceived labels and sexism are her one enemy. 

She would have given up her powers for nothing in the world. Her doing so to protect the royal infant shows her profound loyalty and dedication to the King and Queen.  It was certainly easier for her two friends Flora and Fauna: Flora had always been up for a challenge while Fauna absolutely adored the idea of taking care of a baby. Merryweather alone liked her comfort and never had the maternal instinct every other fairy assumed every female fairy should have.

For unconventional and unruly as she seemed, Merryweather had a fair share of qualities. She was a wonderful and true friend, always supporting her two friends. Her grumpiness usually resulted from her extreme shyness. Often times people would mistake her timidity for meanness. In social situations, she had to fight her urge to speak her mind and her wish to flee for big groups of people made her very uncomfortable. But when she felt secure, Merryweather was the kindest and most thoughtful of friends. Magic, friendship and biscuits in her tea, that was her definition of happiness.

Hieronymus Laurentius Archimedes was born in 1532, in the forest of Maulden Wood. He is an average-looking owl: little, brown with yellow eyes, and solitary as every owl should be. In 1557, he met Merlin, the sorcerer. Constantly squabbling about everything and nothing, they became very good friends, complementing each other perfectly. While Merlin was optimistic and cheerful as a child, Archimedes stood as the cold and skeptic mind. Their friendship developed throughout the years and they brought a lot to each other: Merlin taught Archimedes how to speak English and lent him all of his books of magic. Archimedes, on the other hand, kept Merlin company and reminded him of the mundane tasks he often forgot to accomplish. Merlin was very proud to introduce Archi to all as a « very well educated English-speaking owl ».

And indeed, Archimedes was utterly knowledgeable. But although he seemed mind-centered, Archi was very much into well-being. A huge fan of yoga, Archi also meditated diligently twice daily. He took great care of his plumage and hated it when it rained for his feathers tended to get puffy with humidity. However, he adored hot tubs and sauna because there were always gentle mice that would happily dry out his feathers after his bath. 

One cold and gloomy winter, Archi got very depressed and felt overall pretty poorly for no particular reason. He decided to rationalize it and unknowingly set the trend of combining physical and mental health. All throughout that winter, he spent hours reading poetry, novels and essays, thoroughly nourishing his mind whilst getting multiple massages and regularly practicing yoga. As he had predicted, the effects of this regimen proved very efficient and by early spring, Archi was fully back on track. 

Archi’s little pleasure and Achilles heel was sleep. He got very grumpy if he could  not get at least twelve hours of sleep a day. Even still, he was usually quite irritable in the morning. Apart from his sleep, Archi was definitely not a maximalist. He was very sparing with his thoughts, but very harsh yet witty with his criticism. Overall, Archi is one funny and intelligent owl and you can always count on him to have a cup of tea —as long as it is in the evening.

Hades is undoubtedly the most pathetic and spiteful of villains. One of a dozen kids, and by far the least favourite one, he always stood out among his siblings. Indeed, he possessed no particular power or ability. Physically, he was the only one devoid of the divine aura traditionally glowing around Olympian gods’ bodies. Compared to his brother Zeus, Hades was definitely a failure. He felt weaker and more flawed than others deities. Often times, you would find him lost in thought, tragically torn between self-loathing and self-pity. 

As he grew up, Hades did not succeed in earning his own living. Utterly detached from « important » matters, he spent the little money he earned on utensils for carving. Therefore, he could not afford dental insurance neither had he got enough to have his teeth taken care of by the Olympian dentist. Add to that the fact that Hades did love a dessert, it was no wonder the state of his teeth was more than appalling.  Because of his constant bad breath and ugly dentition, he was banned from Mount Olympus and sent to Hell. 

Unbeknown to the other gods, Hades despised the Underworld and found his job utterly depressing. Down there, his only pleasure and relief from the burden of having to retrieve lost souls into his kingdom was to carve wood. Useless as he thought to be, Hades did have a secret passion: he loved sculpting wood. He would spend hours meticulously carving tiny sticks of wood into very complex and detailed works of arts —a lonely activity for a lonely boy. Cynical and cold as he might seem, Hades was a real dreamer and secretly longed to live on Earth. After five hundred years, he had carved an entire miniature world representing the Earth. One day, however, his two shapeshifting minions, Pain and Panic, that Zeus had purposefully chosen to be as stupid and useless as can be, burnt it all down by accident. 

Hades eventually found solace in his own kingdom. He made renovations all around without having to care about money constraints, as the Underworld was to be refunded by a tax paid by every dead to the ferryman of Hell. When all was done, Hades finally found peace and took care of his never ending tooth ache. His wondrously disarming smile had Persephone, goddess of the springtime, fall in love with him. His short temper gave way to a wicked, deadpan sense of humour. If you ever go to Hell, the first thing you will hear will be roars. But fear not, those are not of pain but of laughter and joy!

Gaston was born in 1964 to a very strict and conservative background. His parents put him right away in the hands of a cranky old governess of 85. They never really cared for Gaston, as his birth was to them what some call « an accident ». They were all eyes for Louis, his older brother of ten years. Contrary to Louis, Gaston would never set the world on fire. As a child, he felt alienated by his brother’s charisma and wished for nothing but a bit of attention from his parents. His wish however was hopeless. Whatever success he would achieve, his brother would have done it better and earlier. Poor Gaston thus grew up developing very low self-esteem. Shy, stupid and skinny, he was and felt tiny. 

Later, Gaston got addicted to bodybuilding. He saved up all his pocket money to pay for a monthly subscription to the local gym. Though he was never going to be as smart as his brother, he was going to look strong and neat. As he was growing bigger and bigger, Gaston was actually trying to hide a deep, dark secret, of which he could talk to no one about: he was attracted to men. However, he felt deeply insecure about revealing his homosexuality to the world, so he took the opposite stand. You would always find him bragging and picking up on girls in a vulgar manner, so much so that he was eventually banished from his family. This whole attitude was aiming at hiding Gaston’s feelings for his oldest and dearest friend, Lefou.  

After his parents threw him out, he wandered the streets aimlessly, drinking beer and talking loud. One day, he stumbled upon Belle and decided somewhat arbitrarily that he would pretend to fall in love with her. In fact, he thought that this infatuation could somehow spark a reaction from Lefou. In the end, this strategy did work out. After the whole story between Belle and the Beast ended, Gaston declared his love to Lefou and his feelings proved being reciprocal. Gaston and Lefou both confessed the love they had been hiding for so long and they left to marry and live happily ever after in the country.

Let me introduce you to Microbe-Operator, aka M-O. 

M-O is a white square robot, born in 2121. He was programmed by his human creators to clean all things deemed « contaminated ». One could say M-O is a neat freak, obsessed with both cleanliness and tidiness. What is lesser known is that his obsession actually stemmed from his own whiteness. Indeed, his creators used to be very particular about personal hygiene and saw it as a reflection of one’s worth. As M-O was very prone to getting dirty, he made it a point to clean himself every time he would get stained. Later, the habit turned into an obsession and spread to his whole environment. Now he cannot help but clean anything that does not look spotless to him. 

M-O gets about on a single roller, always equipped with his cleaning tools. He rolls in straight lines, always on the lookout for stains. Although he can appear quite strict, in his personal life, M-O is very chill. He does love his comfort. He spends hours wrapped in his favourite pink blanket binging on sweets and popcorn while watching reality TV shows and soap opera.

M-O is a very empathetic and caring robot. He often overlooks his own needs and desires for others’. However, he had a few disappointing experiences with friendship and felt distraught after one particularly hurting betrayal. Therefore when he first met Wall-E, he was wary of yet another disillusion. As they got to know each other, he let go of the suspicion and his loving personality could fully shine through. His deep longing for meaningful connexion made his friendship with Wall-E most precious to him. During Wall-E and Eve’s journey to save the Earth, he did anything he could to help.  After it all ended, they all remained friends till they broke down, in 2372.

Yzma was born in 1800, in the depths of the Kuzco kingdom. As a child, she had never been much loved by her mother. Yzzie’s mamma used to be an idol and a muse of many artists, but she was a very cold woman in private. Yet she was the one and only person Yzma looked up to. Her lack of love and tenderness led little Yzma to set incredibly high standards for herself, always aiming for perfection in the hope of gaining her mother’s recognition. For years, she struggled with severe anorexia. It was the only way for her to feel like she had some sort of control over her life, a means to manage her pent up frustration and sadness. 

Indeed, Yzma fancied becoming a scientist. From very early on, she proved to be a very talented potion maker —she even won a few prizes. However, her mother despised her ambitions. She’d tell her: « Just shut up and try to be beautiful ». What a disappointment she was…

After the death of her mother, Yzma found solace in fashion and beauty. She started designing her own clothes, developing a very eccentric and distinct visual identity. Purple was the only colour she would wear for she was obsessed with aubergines. As a child she had been forced to eat tons of vegetables and she hated every one but aubergines. 

Yzma was a real beauty junkie too. She would spend hours on end watching tutorials about how to make your eyes appear bigger. Her beauty skills however revealed appallingly poor. One day, she decided upon making her own makeup from dehydrated insects and also made what she thought was a very potent anti-ange cream. The state of her skin, however, proved the scale of her failure. 

Impatient, petty and moody, Yzma still needs and craves human interaction. That is why she kept Kronk with her, despite his apparent uselessness. Overall, Yzma is a very goal-oriented woman. Once she has her mind set on something, she will do anything to get it. What some might mistake for lust for power and revenge was actually a way for her to get people to like her. Her apparent authoritarian nature hides a very funny girl who you should definitely befriend.